Reality of missing out

I stumbled on to this term ROMO and then pondered on it. I have gone back to my childhood, teenage and to recent years to explore my missing out feelings.

Fear of missing out

For me, FOMO is a feeling that I get when I feel anxious about not being able to do or get something.

My FOMOs that stayed for long time -

• Missing out on school’s basketball team.
• Not being invited to a birthday party.
• Not having a computer at home to show off about the cool stuff I know.
• Knowing cool kids around me.
• Not getting gifts for my birthday or from foreign relatives.
• Not having a motorcycle to go to school.
• Not having much advantages i.e. status, money.
• Not being able to travel to luxurious destinations.
• Not working in a cool enough company.
• Not getting promoted.
• Not being able to relocate to a different country.

… and so on!

In all the above scenarios, when they occurred in my life, I was unaware of my feelings and did nothing to harness my emotions.

These feelings amplified as I looked more outside than inside. I could have controlled my mind, had I tried, but not the outside world.

These feelings can be easily categorized into types of emotions with the help of the emotional wheel.

My most prevalent emotions according to the Emotion Wheel are -

• Rage
  • To hate the cause of the suffering.
  • Get into the fight mode for everything.
• Anxious
  • About the outcome of an interview.
  • About a reply to the invitation.
• Envy
  • Not having a better or at least similar outcome.
• Sadness
  • Feeling dejected after a break up with a friend or a girlfriend.
  • Not finding a connection of thoughts with an important person.

All these years, I did not stop and introspect myself. I was just flowing with the time.

I still have FOMOs but the better ones 😁. I do not distract myself from these fearful and doubtful feelings instead, I embrace them. I spend time analyzing the cause and form a conclusion that I can remind myself of when I experience the same feelings again. I have made goals and focus on my routine around achieving those goals.

I have started my journey inwards. To get to know myself.

Now, my morning starts with a training session rather than last night’s hangover. Now, my office commute is enriched with daily podcasts related to Tech, Productivity, and Business rather than playing a shuffle playlist. Now, During office hours, I am more relaxed and focused due to an awesome start rather than slacking through the day. Now, I am happy to reach home to complete yet another milestone in the video game I am playing rather than hanging out for a cocktail. Now, I wind down my day while reading a book rather than doom scrolling social media.

It is never too late to begin

I aim to be aware, and redirect my emotional energy, rather than falling to the consequences of fear and doubt. Starting with small steps, I have made some intertwining habits.

Do things you love and talk about what you love and you’ll attract people who love that kind of stuff. It’s that simple. — Austin Kleon

Social media

I have quit social media, and have confined my usage to LinkedIn and Reddit. These apps are installed on a device that is not in my reach, for the maximum part of the day.

I use Reddit to follow the general awareness around me with subs like IndianStockMarket, bangalore, developersIndia.

I have removed Online Shopping apps from my phone. I have them on my iPad as I still purchase things online and even do window shopping but it is limited now.

Lifestyle

21 days to form a habit is a myth. I believe it takes multiple 21 days cycle to form a habit.

In Amazon, there is a saying, “We all have good intentions, but the process will make us successful”. I have had good intentions to change my lifestyle for the last couple of years but it is only from this year’s beginning that I have formed a mechanism and followed it.

Now, This sorts only the 5 days of the week, not the elephant in the week - The Weekend. 😁

I keep my weekends for long and engaging tasks. I plan my upcoming weekend during the week and prioritize things to be taken up during the weekend. I like going out for breakfast, long walks around Agara Lake, visit Cubbon park.

Once in a while, I get together with my friends during the evenings and We go out for drinks.

My weekends are the reward for keeping up a routine throughout the week. 😎

Health

If given a chance to pick a car (any car!), It will be the only car you will have in your life time. Will you not take care of it? Similarly, We get this body only once. — Warren Buffett

• Food - I monitor my macros - Carb, Protein, and Fat. I alter the consumption based on where I am, and the work I am doing, but prefer eating good fats, lean protein and minimum carbs.

  My Food related changes are inspired by The Diabetes Code

  I have a paternal family history of diet disorder. We are prone to type 2 diabetes. Anything with a high Glycemic Index will spike our blood glucose.

  I try to consume less processed/refined products in any form - sugar, oil, flour, rice, meat. I have transitioned towards gluten-free and millet-enriched flour and rice for daily consumption. The biggest change here is that I keep a restricted intake of sugar.

  I prefer eating Poha, Millet Dosa for breakfast and lentils/vegetables during lunch. I have added Eggs and Whey Protein in my diet, I generally have one of them along with my breakfast.

  I am a foodie but I am mindful and eat in small portions.

  I ❤️ home-style curries and often cook them, but for the healthy eating purpose I have moved to explore roast and grill cooking options.

  I avoid beer but I ❤️ whisky. I have reduced the occurence of consumption to weekends only but I am still working on reducing the quantity of intakes. ✌🏽

• Regular Blood work - I monitor my vitals and make changes as per consultation. Only the vitals can validate the changes. I am suspected to Type 2 Diabetes and it was evident in my blood report. Full body checkup reported that my HbA1c was in the range of pre-diabetes.

• Fasting - Fasting for 24 hours has been the game changer. I start my week with a fast on Monday i.e. I take my last meal on Sunday afternoon and then next meal on Monday afternoon. I prefer doing it on WFH days, to prevent any extraneous energy required for commute.

  Rest of the days, I take my last meal of the day before sunset i.e. ~6PM and then break the fast next day at 9AM.

  Initially my weight drastically reduced from 74 Kgs to 69Kgs and now is stable near 64kgs. I weigh myself after I get up in the morning and before going to bed to avgerage my weight.(Not everyday👺).

• Gym - It is the last but very important to maintain a good health. I am super energetic, I use this pent up energy in the gym for strength training. I am able to see the results with better eating habits(covered in Food) and training. I train at least 4 times a week.

Hobbies

• Being Passionately Curious - Since my childhood, I tear down & open all my toys to know more about how they work. I still do it, but now I am exploring my interests with a Raspberry Pi.

• Reading - I got this from my mother - “Books are friends”. I was never a sitter, so reading a book was more of muscle training than the mind.

  I like reading tech design docs, articles and books - Build by Tony Fadell, System Design by Alex Xu

  I read self-help books to be productive and form habits - Think and Grow Rich, Digital minimalism, Deep work are the recent ones.

  My favorite auto/biographies are Shoe dog by Phil Knight, Snowball - Warren Buffett.

  I read on Kindle and never run out of books 😁.

• Podcasts - I tend to keep away from endless Youtube playback. I agree podcast are more likely as same as video content but as of now, there is a lot less noise in this space. It takes patience and consistency to focus and not lose concentration while listening. My podcast genres varies indistinctly.

  Tech - I binge listen to The Change log, Syn Tax, Developer Tea

  Business - Finshorts, Money Control

• Video games - Playing video games came naturally to me. I did not have to force a sitting for it. I play somewhere for nearly an hour every day. Recently, I completed God of War Ragnarök` and loved it.

  I also like First Person Shooting games like Far Cry and GTA, and who doesn’t like Need for Speed 🚘

Longterm view

I do not see the instant benefits of these investments but I am optimistic that when the time comes, they will work as per the need.

Body - Already said enough, I believe it is once in a lifetime opportunity.

Insurance - My brother-in-law advised me to get a term life insurance, You never know!

Build a Networth - I have got the concept of Fuck you money from my mentor, I think it is a MUST. I am investing in various risk-free as well as risky instruments🤞🏽. I believe that the less you manage money, the more it grows, so I prefer to park it away from my reach for a certain period. I can’t time things, so when I invest in something - I patiently wait 🫥. It is all luck, and if you feel otherwise, good for you.

I do not seek perfection and believe that Anything that is worth doing is worth doing poorly.

My instincts have largely remained the same throughout my life, but I am building another parallel personality to guide myself. It is like being guided by the energy which has a holistic view of the situation. Every action has good and bad consequences, I aim to maximize the good and keep a controlled bad influence.

ROMO - Reality of missing out

The 2020 Pandemic was a growth phase of my life. When each one of us was limited to our home, or in self-isolation, I realized that I was concerned about the well-being of only a limited number of people in my life^**. I can picture the group while I am describing it here.

After all these years away from home, I was blessed to live ~2 years with my parents during a pandemic. I noticed that both my parents have grown old and it is now visible on their faces. I missed catching up with them, not knowing them all these years while I was busy being in FOMO.

• My father retired from his Govt. service and I was not able to attend it.
• My sibling has grown up and matured. Like from high school to even completed the post-graduation.
• I loved my dog, and I no more have him.
• My dear friends have settled into their new lives after college.

I felt amazed about how far I have come, I am living my best life. Nature takes care of everything.

I cannot have everything. While I do not have what I want, I do have what I need - My good health, career to grow, curiosity to explore.

Just like in a buffet, where we have unlimited items to eat, but we enjoy only a limited one and repeat them. Similarly, I focus on the things which I enjoy eating and only pay for them.

I follow my routine, take care of my loved ones, and carry out my hobbies. This is it. ✌🏽